EnglishSubtitle: added by anonim
Public Speaking Tips - the biggest trick to telling stories that captivate
1 00:00:06,370 --> 00:00:13,400 Today I am answering a question from Natalie and Natalie wrote glad your surgery went well. 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:18,0 Thank you. I'd love to see some videos about NLP; the one from your webinar was great and 3 00:00:18,0 --> 00:00:25,640 super helpful. And so, what I want us to talk about today is another really, really awesome 4 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:33,980 NLP trick that I learned; that is how to tell stories that captivate. So I went to a seminar 5 00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:38,649 recently, where I flew down to Arizona, one of those things where you don't really know 6 00:00:38,649 --> 00:00:43,219 what to expect but you've heard good things. So I went down and I talked to these guys 7 00:00:43,219 --> 00:00:49,30 who've been doing this for decades -- really impressive -- speakers, sales persons, NLP 8 00:00:49,30 --> 00:00:54,940 conversationalists and I learned a lot of really amazing stuff, but my absolute favorite 9 00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:59,89 thing is what I'm going to teach you now, it's how do you tell stories so that your 10 00:00:59,89 --> 00:01:05,540 listener, whether that's one person or an entire audience, so that they'll care what 11 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:10,880 you're saying and engage; so their brain will engage. And this is something you can do that 12 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,470 at a subconscious level, it's really going to trigger them to tune in and it's going 13 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:19,380 to prevent that audience burnout or that listener burnout where sometimes you'll be midway through 14 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:26,220 a story, potentially, and even if it's interesting, the person just might start to zone out or 15 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:32,580 lose a little bit of attention. So this is what I learned while I was there and I think 16 00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:36,250 it's phenomenal. So Natalie, hopefully you'll like this and everyone else, I think this 17 00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:39,830 is really, really useful, that's why I decided to shoot the video. 18 00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:46,850 So I think the best way to illustrate this is with a story, basically. The last time 19 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:53,800 I told a story was about 12 hours ago. I'm here at South by Southwest and I'm meeting 20 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:58,0 a lot of people who want to know "What do you do? Where are you from? What are you interested 21 00:01:58,0 --> 00:02:04,840 in? It's like speed dating for business and friendship. It's a super cool event but it's 22 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,170 one of those things where you meet someone and you know you like them but don't really 23 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:14,709 know a lot about them. So I met this woman, we hit it off so we decided to get dinner 24 00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:19,560 and she doesn't really know anything about me and so my question is, "How do you convey 25 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,459 the things about yourself where you might not have similar interests but you might have 26 00:02:23,459 --> 00:02:28,900 similar values?" And so, how do you share those interests in a way that connects you 27 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,849 to the other person? So, I love to do that via story. 28 00:02:32,849 --> 00:02:37,389 So this woman was asking all about myself, the business, this and that, but at one point 29 00:02:37,389 --> 00:02:41,840 the black eye comes up and the mixed martial arts comes up. She's really surprised why 30 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:47,560 this 27-year-old entrepreneur fighting in a cage, right? So, to answer her, there's 31 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:53,30 two ways that I can do this. The first is the way most people do it and it's not bad 32 00:02:53,30 --> 00:02:59,840 but it could certainly be a lot better. The second is how you tell the story in a way 33 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:04,920 that is going to make her listen to you and be interested, even if what you're talking 34 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:09,849 about isn't a hobby that she has coz in this case, she wasn't a cage fighter or anything 35 00:03:09,849 --> 00:03:15,370 like that, although I do hear Ronda Rousey is in town. If you can put us in touch, I 36 00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:21,819 will love you forever. But we're going, why do you do MMA and why do you like it and the 37 00:03:21,819 --> 00:03:27,269 way to do it is not good would be to talk only about myself and in "I" and to that it 38 00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:32,209 would look something like, "Oh, I really love mixed martial arts because it's an absolute, 39 00:03:32,209 --> 00:03:38,69 incredible workout but beyond that, it's such an adrenaline rush." And I went skydiving 40 00:03:38,69 --> 00:03:43,319 once and I loved it and it just got my heart thumping and when I finished, all I wanted 41 00:03:43,319 --> 00:03:48,209 to do is do it again or call my friends and I just had this incredible dopamine dump and 42 00:03:48,209 --> 00:03:54,959 it was amazing. And on top of that, for me, fighting is very meditative, with me enough 43 00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:56,779 because I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 44 00:03:56,779 --> 00:04:05,939 But you see, everything there is I, I, I, I, I. You can tell the same, exact story with 45 00:04:05,939 --> 00:04:12,919 a second person/ first person mismatch that will create way more intrigue from your listener. 46 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:17,190 Let me say it in a way that will make more sense since that is kind of unnecessarily 47 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:22,150 wordy. If you alternate between "You" and "I", you and I, you and I, when you tell a 48 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:27,129 story, the other person will be sucked in more because they'll start to put themselves 49 00:04:27,129 --> 00:04:31,979 in the role of protagonist. They'll start to put themselves in the role of "you" while 50 00:04:31,979 --> 00:04:36,490 you're telling the story. So, instead of just saying I, I, I, I, I, that sort of look something 51 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:42,509 like this, Oh, I love mixed martial arts. I don't know if you have any weird hobbies 52 00:04:42,509 --> 00:04:47,560 that don't really make sense to people but this is definitely one for me but I absolutely 53 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:52,550 love it. And I think the easiest way to say this, it's an awesome workout for sure, but 54 00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:56,110 more than that, have you ever gone skydiving or have you ever done anything where afterwards 55 00:04:56,110 --> 00:05:01,449 you just feel so alive? Where your heart is pounding and you just, rushing to tell all 56 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:05,90 your friends about it even though, you know, they couldn't care less, right? That to me 57 00:05:05,90 --> 00:05:11,580 is mixed martial arts. As soon as I finished my first five practices, I called my dad and 58 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:14,990 you know when you just have those exciting conversations with a person who listens? They 59 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:18,39 don't really care about the topic but they're just so happy that you're happy. It's that 60 00:05:18,39 --> 00:05:24,340 feeling for me all the time. And in addition to that, it's really meditative. So for somebody 61 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:30,610 who runs a business, you can get really stressed out and you can find yourself all over the 62 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:35,180 place and it's hard and it's hard for you to find a second to just be. But what I realized 63 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:39,639 is when you have somebody that's trying to take your head off, trying to choke you out 64 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:45,139 or whatever it may be, you can only focus on the moment. And so, you're so focused, 65 00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:52,590 you're just there and present that it's very Zen-like and nothing else matters, with the 66 00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:58,879 stresses in my relationship, or I have stresses at work. When I'm there, I'm there and I love 67 00:05:58,879 --> 00:06:03,340 that and so the combination of a thrill and being present, I think it's really hard to 68 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:05,830 capture that elsewhere. 69 00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:10,569 And when I said that, in that story, there's a lot of you and I, and you and I flipping 70 00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:16,849 back and forth, it engages the person. It gets them listening to you and putting themselves 71 00:06:16,849 --> 00:06:19,349 there and this woman was actually, when I said the meditative part, she was like, Oh 72 00:06:19,349 --> 00:06:25,930 my god, that's so crazy because I feel the same way about, she does silk ropes ballet, 73 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:29,509 where you're like 10 feet in the air and you're kind of wrapping the ropes around yourself. 74 00:06:29,509 --> 00:06:33,509 She say, "I know it sounds crazy, coz it's not like getting a punch in the face but that 75 00:06:33,509 --> 00:06:37,330 same danger, you really have to focus and you can't screw up and so because of that 76 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:41,580 you're fully present." And so we connected on these two hobbies that have nothing to 77 00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:47,789 do with each other because I put it into a framework that she could listen to and it 78 00:06:47,789 --> 00:06:51,439 sounds small like flipping between first and second person, you really, really connect 79 00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:55,879 with the person you're talking to and you keep their attention. 80 00:06:55,879 --> 00:07:00,659 So anyway, that's just a little trick, obviously there's a ton more about storytelling. We 81 00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:04,319 could talk about tonality, gesticulating, how to craft a story, things like that and 82 00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:09,900 I'm happy to do more videos like that if you want but if I could just pick one thing for 83 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:16,789 storytelling to have you work on, this is it, Natalie, for sure and so that's my video 84 00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:21,789 for you guys today. If you liked it, I would love if you could just click the "Like" button 85 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,240 below and click "Subscribe" and that way I'll know that you guys are enjoying this and I'll 86 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:29,99 keep shooting this for you. And if you want to kind of craft what kind of videos I shoot, 87 00:07:29,99 --> 00:07:34,50 feel free to comment or shoot me an email because I make this for you and so, you know, 88 00:07:34,50 --> 00:07:36,960 if you write in I'll answer your questions. 89 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:41,99 So, that's it. If you liked it, hit Like, hit Subscribe, blog if you share this and 90 00:07:41,99 --> 00:07:46,689 hopefully you go out and you tell your stories like this and you switch between you and I 91 00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:51,590 and you'll see incredible things people nodding along and you'll see people really captivated 92 00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:55,750 whether it's one-on-one or a group of 10 or a thousand people from a stage.
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