Official Chukyagiri | Episode 1 | Spandan's First Day At Work | An Arre Original Web Series
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"You don't get a place here,
you make it."
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[Radio chatter] Good Morning Number 1,
with Malishka!
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Open your eyes, peep outside,
watch the sunrise, see the city...
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I'm sleeping right now.
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The alarm's gonna ring in 30 seconds
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and my life will change.
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Until then,
I'll tell you a bit about myself.
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I may not find the time later.
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00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:30,264
I'll get busy, you see.
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Grandpa used to say,
"work hard and success will be yours".
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00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:45,657
Though he neither worked hard himself,
nor became successful.
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But he had a way with words.
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I'm a small-towner,
where even success is often small.
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For example,
Uncle Pappu is considered
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the most successful man
in my town, Meerut
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because he made it
to the Limca Book of Records.
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Till date.. he hasn't cut his nails!
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00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:08,395
Earning loads of money
is not my definition of success.
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00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,584
I define it as becoming such an
important part of people's lives
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that they can't imagine
a life without it.
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I don't want to live an uneventful life.
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I want to cause a ripple.
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That's why I moved to Mumbai.
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Try stopping me now.
- Turn off the lights, jackass!
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It's just an internship,
you've not become a diplomat!
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"With my destiny in tow, I set off.."
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"..only to arrive
in the city of dreams."
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"A turn of fate,
brought me to Bombay."
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"My boss messed up
my daily schedule."
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"I swear by my grandpa,
I'll be on top one day."
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"Y'all had a lot to say..
but not today, not to me."
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"My heart says,
your dreams will come true one day."
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"Run away.. Run away..
keep running till you find your heart."
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"Come again..Come again..
'cos you never know what life's got!"
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Hey.. hello! Where to?
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Internship.
- What is that?
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Move aside, let them pass.
Come here.
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What is it?
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Uncle, this is just the stage
prior to getting a confirmed job.
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Like meeting the prospective bride
before a wedding. This is just that.
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Who goes to meet the bride these days?
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Nowadays, they've already seen
everything beforehand, isn't it?
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Your name?
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Spandan Chukya.
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Not Chutya (expletive),
but Chukya, with a 'K'.
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My name is Spandan Chukya.
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Alright, do you have a letter?
- Yes.
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Don't you have your glasses, uncle?
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I did, it broke.
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I'll buy another one
with the next salary, be patient.
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Uncle, try this one.
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Somewhat legible now,
the stamp is fine.. here you go.
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Thank you.
- Here.
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You can keep it,
I have a spare.
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You can return it when you buy yours.
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Go on.
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Take up the 'job' before the job.
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Thank you.
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F**k!
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F**k Sheila! F**k!
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Hey dude!
Pass me some toilet paper, man.
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Hey, I'm talking to you.
Pass me the paper quickly, buddy!
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C'mon, hurry up. Hurry up, man
Fast, fast, give it to me.
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Sheila, you don't know
who you're dealing with.
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I'll make you pay
for every single rash!
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You don't know who is..
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Wet it.
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I can't use this. This is single ply.
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00:05:07,951 --> 00:05:10,686
This is not even toilet paper,
this is some sand paper!
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00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:12,17
Sheila, I'm going to
hump you till it hurts!
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You don't know
what I'm going to do to you!
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Oh f**k!
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New?
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Intern.
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Flush it.
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Make a note.
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Cleaning up the sh*t
of the seniors
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is the responsibility
of the juniors.
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Don't they teach it
in B-schools?
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How do you know I'm an MBA?
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I know this sh*t.
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Look me in the eye, Sheshe.
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Sheshe.. you're not listening to me.
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I want my toilet paper.
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Don't you know that
using single ply gives me rashes?
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I want my soft, baby-touch,
with aloe vera coated ones now.
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Send a request by email, Ganesh.
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Subject line,
'extra-soft tissue paper - I get rashes'
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and cc to accounts.
You'll get it as soon as it's approved.
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Do you think this is a f**king joke?
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I'll shut the entire IT operations,
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which practically means
shutting the whole f**king place down.
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Do it.
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One day, I'm going to
hack into that phone of yours
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and crush your f**king candies.
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I'll crush your nuts.
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Move!
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Madam, are you Sheila?
- No.
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Madam, I'm Spandan.
The new intern.
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In the appointment letter,
I've been asked to approach you.
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Allot me some work, please.
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I have no work for you.
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00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,185
Then whom do I go to
for the work, madam?
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Go figure. I know one place.
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Yes!
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Yes!
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'Delicious!'
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Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
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Good morning, sir.
- That's fine.
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Who are you?
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Terrible font choice,
send me the reports again.
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Kalpesh, stop downloading porn.
- No, sir.
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'Missionary impossible',
I can see it.
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And Sheshe, please stop
sending me Candy Crush requests.
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Good morning, sir.
Looking very dashing today, sir.
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Yeah, I got new fans,
can you feel the cold breeze?
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Good morning, sir.
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Sir, I'm a big fan of yours.. Spandan.
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I know who you are, Spandan Chukya.
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You know me?
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725 emails,
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250 letters,
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20 video messages
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telling me
my digital strategy is all wrong.
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How can I not recognise you?
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No sir, you're misunderstanding me.
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I didn't mean that..
- Don't give me explanations.
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I have a very important
assignment for you.
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Are you upto it?
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Certainly, sir.
I'll put my heart and soul into it.
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That's fine, but remember to apply gel
on your hair from tomorrow. Idiot!
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It's clean chacha!
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How much more are you going to wipe it?
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Being busy is an illusion, son.
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The one who learns to be busy here,
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doesn't have to bother
about being actually busy.
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Do nothing, look busy.
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Learn it.
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They don't teach
these things in B-schools.
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They don't teach us
to make tea either in B-schools, Chacha.
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Why are you working so hard, son?
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There's a machine installed.
Fill up the cups and distribute it.
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Chacha, this machine spews muck
in the name of tea.
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Moreover, it's the only work I have.
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I'm going to do it well.
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You.. try this.
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Sip carefully, it's hot.
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Fantastic!
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That's how I am.
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Once I'm on it, I don't quit.
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And if I quit, I never get back.
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May victory be yours!
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Excuse me, your tea.
154
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No, thank you.
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It's not from the machine.
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00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:09,201
Mili.
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00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:14,538
Mili..
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Spandan.
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Nice to meet you.. you're welcome.
- Thank you.
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Candy Crush!
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What the f**k is wrong with you!
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Who the hell hired this guy?
- I'm so sorry, sir. I will..
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Let it be. Bloody idiot!
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00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:18,638
Prerana, provocative pictures
are against the law.
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00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:20,785
You don't wanna mess
with the law in this country.
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00:12:20,905 --> 00:12:22,682
But that's for women, right?
167
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We can't objectify women, I know that.
168
00:12:25,563 --> 00:12:26,489
But that law is not on men.
169
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,717
We can actually have
fit men on the campaign.
170
00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:35,552
And having men on
packaging of condoms is a cliche because
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everybody has done it.
You cannot use that design.
172
00:12:37,192 --> 00:12:39,687
It's just a condom.
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I can't think of anything better.
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Let me see.
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00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,699
Can I say something, sir?
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00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:52,651
Yes, tell me.
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Sir, we can use both boys and girls.
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00:12:56,99 --> 00:12:59,864
I mean,
if we make the packaging romantic,
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00:12:59,984 --> 00:13:00,410
instead of making it about sex.
180
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,225
Have you even seen a condom packet ever?
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00:13:03,345 --> 00:13:05,108
I have manufactured condoms.
182
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:10,547
We have condom factories
back home, in Meerut.
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00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,857
I used to work there for pocket money.
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00:13:12,67 --> 00:13:15,530
Sir, from what I've seen in Mumbai,
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the boys and girls, couples,
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00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:19,368
they go to parks, seaside
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00:13:20,738 --> 00:13:23,976
or sit on their bikes,
parked along the highway.
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00:13:23,195 --> 00:13:25,310
Sir, we can use such real footage.
189
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,946
And we can provide
a QR code on the packaging.
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00:13:28,66 --> 00:13:31,608
Whenever they scan it
with their phones,
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it will play a YouTube video.
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00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,255
This way, you'll have an
interactive video,
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like sex education.
194
00:13:40,296 --> 00:13:44,622
There's a social message too.
So nobody's going to call it illegal.
195
00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:45,316
I'm not too convinced.
196
00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:48,227
Prerna,
why don't you give this a shot?
197
00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:50,397
It's a crooked idea, but..
198
00:13:51,186 --> 00:13:54,370
Why don't you both
discuss this and make a presentation?
199
00:13:55,4 --> 00:13:58,538
Maybe by this evening
we'll have something!
200
00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:02,54
Thanks for the tea, man.
- Thank you, sir.
201
00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,284
So tell me, madam.
Where do we start?
202
00:14:08,691 --> 00:14:10,523
Get me another cup of tea.
203
00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:11,456
With less sugar.
204
00:14:13,43 --> 00:14:16,618
Madam, I'll get the tea,
but regarding what sir was saying..
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00:14:16,738 --> 00:14:17,804
Believe me.
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00:14:18,544 --> 00:14:21,741
A good cup of tea
will make my job easy.
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00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:25,789
Go on.
208
00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:29,182
Ok, madam.
209
00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:41,838
This one's on the bull's eye.
C'mon.. c'mon..
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00:14:43,193 --> 00:14:44,282
Not bad.
211
00:14:48,156 --> 00:14:49,367
Tea-boy!
212
00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:14,958
Kalpesh, just check with Siri
213
00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:17,914
what Chukya means.
214
00:15:17,357 --> 00:15:18,161
Sure.
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00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,139
Siri, what is a Chukya?
216
00:15:24,789 --> 00:15:26,134
`'Chutya' or 'Shutya' is a cuss word
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derived from the Hindi word 'Ch*t',
which means vagina..
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00:15:34,145 --> 00:15:36,917
Vagina!
219
00:15:37,798 --> 00:15:39,845
Quite versatile!
220
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:44,958
Chukya..
221
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:47,892
Do you understand English
or should I explain?
222
00:16:00,976 --> 00:16:02,572
There goes Chukya!
223
00:16:02,484 --> 00:16:05,687
This villager won't last two days!
224
00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:08,0
He stopped!
225
00:16:09,857 --> 00:16:10,161
Forgot the tip?
226
00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:12,989
Give it.. hey sonny!
227
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,627
He's turning..
228
00:16:23,339 --> 00:16:26,683
Bhaiyaji, can you tell me
what a f**king c**t is?
229
00:16:26,40 --> 00:16:28,40
[Shutter Clicks]
230
00:16:39,893 --> 00:16:41,16
You're going to pay for this, Chukya!
231
00:16:41,136 --> 00:16:42,931
F**k!
232
00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:54,20
'Always cut your coat
according to your cloth, Spandan.'
233
00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:57,36
'Had you been serious about me,
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00:16:57,156 --> 00:17:00,23
you wouldn't have even
thought of moving to Mumbai.'
235
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,286
'The boy's horoscope looks bad.'
236
00:17:03,406 --> 00:17:06,353
'If he goes to Mumbai,
his future's going to be dark.'
237
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:30,246
I didn't make it, it was the new boy.
238
00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:33,991
There he is!
239
00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:35,0
Where were you?
240
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,865
They want the tea you make,
not the one from the machine.
241
00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:40,338
You asked for it!
242
00:17:44,24 --> 00:17:46,468
Though I was feeling bad
for the tea vending machine.
243
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,646
But I understood one thing clearly.
244
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,128
You don't get a place here,
you make it.
245
00:17:57,319 --> 00:18:01,654
She's the trouble
that you haven't encountered yet.
246
00:18:01,61 --> 00:18:04,537
The head of this think-tank, Rati.
247
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,292
Darts game? Are you crazy?
248
00:18:08,412 --> 00:18:12,891
Don't worry, Spandan.
Ganesh has always been a poor finisher.
249
00:18:12,11 --> 00:18:15,631
If you lose,
you'll be my intern for a year.
Vocabulary 0
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