Official Chukyagiri | Episode 1 | Spandan's First Day At Work | An Arre Original Web Series

1 00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:03,460 "You don't get a place here, you make it." 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,640 [Radio chatter] Good Morning Number 1, with Malishka! 3 00:00:07,751 --> 00:00:11,151 Open your eyes, peep outside, watch the sunrise, see the city... 4 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:14,923 I'm sleeping right now. 5 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:17,213 The alarm's gonna ring in 30 seconds 6 00:00:17,333 --> 00:00:19,926 and my life will change. 7 00:00:21,818 --> 00:00:24,608 Until then, I'll tell you a bit about myself. 8 00:00:24,29 --> 00:00:26,41 I may not find the time later. 9 00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:30,264 I'll get busy, you see. 10 00:00:37,215 --> 00:00:40,470 Grandpa used to say, "work hard and success will be yours". 11 00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:45,657 Though he neither worked hard himself, nor became successful. 12 00:00:46,972 --> 00:00:48,600 But he had a way with words. 13 00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:52,324 I'm a small-towner, where even success is often small. 14 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:55,154 For example, Uncle Pappu is considered 15 00:00:55,274 --> 00:00:57,482 the most successful man in my town, Meerut 16 00:00:58,602 --> 00:01:00,783 because he made it to the Limca Book of Records. 17 00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:03,377 Till date.. he hasn't cut his nails! 18 00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:08,395 Earning loads of money is not my definition of success. 19 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,584 I define it as becoming such an important part of people's lives 20 00:01:12,704 --> 00:01:14,18 that they can't imagine a life without it. 21 00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:21,305 I don't want to live an uneventful life. 22 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:26,880 I want to cause a ripple. 23 00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:39,42 That's why I moved to Mumbai. 24 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:43,542 Try stopping me now. - Turn off the lights, jackass! 25 00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:46,378 It's just an internship, you've not become a diplomat! 26 00:01:57,207 --> 00:02:00,781 "With my destiny in tow, I set off.." 27 00:02:00,326 --> 00:02:02,666 "..only to arrive in the city of dreams." 28 00:02:16,121 --> 00:02:18,192 "A turn of fate, brought me to Bombay." 29 00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,415 "My boss messed up my daily schedule." 30 00:02:21,535 --> 00:02:23,670 "I swear by my grandpa, I'll be on top one day." 31 00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:27,683 "Y'all had a lot to say.. but not today, not to me." 32 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:31,509 "My heart says, your dreams will come true one day." 33 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,888 "Run away.. Run away.. keep running till you find your heart." 34 00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:39,107 "Come again..Come again.. 'cos you never know what life's got!" 35 00:03:00,165 --> 00:03:02,758 Hey.. hello! Where to? 36 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:03,327 Internship. - What is that? 37 00:03:03,447 --> 00:03:06,699 Move aside, let them pass. Come here. 38 00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:09,648 What is it? 39 00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:12,120 Uncle, this is just the stage prior to getting a confirmed job. 40 00:03:13,658 --> 00:03:17,555 Like meeting the prospective bride before a wedding. This is just that. 41 00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:19,926 Who goes to meet the bride these days? 42 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:22,122 Nowadays, they've already seen everything beforehand, isn't it? 43 00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:26,757 Your name? 44 00:03:27,795 --> 00:03:28,290 Spandan Chukya. 45 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:31,903 Not Chutya (expletive), but Chukya, with a 'K'. 46 00:03:31,88 --> 00:03:32,411 My name is Spandan Chukya. 47 00:03:33,531 --> 00:03:35,925 Alright, do you have a letter? - Yes. 48 00:03:43,526 --> 00:03:45,642 Don't you have your glasses, uncle? 49 00:03:45,919 --> 00:03:46,243 I did, it broke. 50 00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:50,320 I'll buy another one with the next salary, be patient. 51 00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:55,773 Uncle, try this one. 52 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:04,729 Somewhat legible now, the stamp is fine.. here you go. 53 00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:05,436 Thank you. - Here. 54 00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:08,614 You can keep it, I have a spare. 55 00:04:10,571 --> 00:04:12,515 You can return it when you buy yours. 56 00:04:13,2 --> 00:04:14,154 Go on. 57 00:04:14,418 --> 00:04:17,574 Take up the 'job' before the job. 58 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:22,684 Thank you. 59 00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:42,580 F**k! 60 00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:45,603 F**k Sheila! F**k! 61 00:04:45,723 --> 00:04:47,845 Hey dude! Pass me some toilet paper, man. 62 00:04:48,374 --> 00:04:52,750 Hey, I'm talking to you. Pass me the paper quickly, buddy! 63 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:55,423 C'mon, hurry up. Hurry up, man Fast, fast, give it to me. 64 00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,691 Sheila, you don't know who you're dealing with. 65 00:04:58,811 --> 00:05:00,833 I'll make you pay for every single rash! 66 00:05:00,953 --> 00:05:01,482 You don't know who is.. 67 00:05:02,142 --> 00:05:03,363 Wet it. 68 00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:07,831 I can't use this. This is single ply. 69 00:05:07,951 --> 00:05:10,686 This is not even toilet paper, this is some sand paper! 70 00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:12,17 Sheila, I'm going to hump you till it hurts! 71 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:15,85 You don't know what I'm going to do to you! 72 00:05:16,196 --> 00:05:18,76 Oh f**k! 73 00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:23,962 New? 74 00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:25,890 Intern. 75 00:05:26,919 --> 00:05:27,956 Flush it. 76 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:30,783 Make a note. 77 00:05:32,60 --> 00:05:35,612 Cleaning up the sh*t of the seniors 78 00:05:35,871 --> 00:05:38,71 is the responsibility of the juniors. 79 00:05:39,588 --> 00:05:41,821 Don't they teach it in B-schools? 80 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,96 How do you know I'm an MBA? 81 00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:45,312 I know this sh*t. 82 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:53,166 Look me in the eye, Sheshe. 83 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,412 Sheshe.. you're not listening to me. 84 00:05:56,752 --> 00:05:57,204 I want my toilet paper. 85 00:05:59,831 --> 00:06:02,526 Don't you know that using single ply gives me rashes? 86 00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:04,330 I want my soft, baby-touch, with aloe vera coated ones now. 87 00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:07,672 Send a request by email, Ganesh. 88 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:12,546 Subject line, 'extra-soft tissue paper - I get rashes' 89 00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:16,412 and cc to accounts. You'll get it as soon as it's approved. 90 00:06:17,663 --> 00:06:19,610 Do you think this is a f**king joke? 91 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,647 I'll shut the entire IT operations, 92 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:23,306 which practically means shutting the whole f**king place down. 93 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,297 Do it. 94 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:27,268 One day, I'm going to hack into that phone of yours 95 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,750 and crush your f**king candies. 96 00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:31,510 I'll crush your nuts. 97 00:06:34,535 --> 00:06:34,331 Move! 98 00:06:43,531 --> 00:06:45,543 Madam, are you Sheila? - No. 99 00:06:50,931 --> 00:06:52,406 Madam, I'm Spandan. The new intern. 100 00:06:53,637 --> 00:06:55,14 In the appointment letter, I've been asked to approach you. 101 00:06:55,134 --> 00:06:57,114 Allot me some work, please. 102 00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:59,851 I have no work for you. 103 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,185 Then whom do I go to for the work, madam? 104 00:07:06,33 --> 00:07:08,331 Go figure. I know one place. 105 00:07:10,2 --> 00:07:11,715 Yes! 106 00:07:12,696 --> 00:07:13,571 Yes! 107 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:19,240 'Delicious!' 108 00:07:21,626 --> 00:07:22,309 Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 109 00:07:24,804 --> 00:07:25,399 Good morning, sir. - That's fine. 110 00:07:26,971 --> 00:07:27,209 Who are you? 111 00:07:27,329 --> 00:07:30,287 Terrible font choice, send me the reports again. 112 00:07:31,425 --> 00:07:33,460 Kalpesh, stop downloading porn. - No, sir. 113 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,527 'Missionary impossible', I can see it. 114 00:07:36,473 --> 00:07:40,838 And Sheshe, please stop sending me Candy Crush requests. 115 00:07:40,113 --> 00:07:44,995 Good morning, sir. Looking very dashing today, sir. 116 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:48,662 Yeah, I got new fans, can you feel the cold breeze? 117 00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:56,656 Good morning, sir. 118 00:07:56,861 --> 00:07:58,38 Sir, I'm a big fan of yours.. Spandan. 119 00:07:58,262 --> 00:08:01,204 I know who you are, Spandan Chukya. 120 00:08:02,50 --> 00:08:04,878 You know me? 121 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:07,518 725 emails, 122 00:08:07,999 --> 00:08:08,163 250 letters, 123 00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,888 20 video messages 124 00:08:11,342 --> 00:08:14,122 telling me my digital strategy is all wrong. 125 00:08:15,683 --> 00:08:16,195 How can I not recognise you? 126 00:08:16,315 --> 00:08:18,469 No sir, you're misunderstanding me. 127 00:08:19,589 --> 00:08:21,858 I didn't mean that.. - Don't give me explanations. 128 00:08:21,978 --> 00:08:24,696 I have a very important assignment for you. 129 00:08:26,637 --> 00:08:27,967 Are you upto it? 130 00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:31,126 Certainly, sir. I'll put my heart and soul into it. 131 00:08:31,246 --> 00:08:35,696 That's fine, but remember to apply gel on your hair from tomorrow. Idiot! 132 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,724 It's clean chacha! 133 00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:04,380 How much more are you going to wipe it? 134 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,915 Being busy is an illusion, son. 135 00:09:07,359 --> 00:09:09,377 The one who learns to be busy here, 136 00:09:09,497 --> 00:09:12,475 doesn't have to bother about being actually busy. 137 00:09:13,43 --> 00:09:15,14 Do nothing, look busy. 138 00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:16,334 Learn it. 139 00:09:17,37 --> 00:09:20,632 They don't teach these things in B-schools. 140 00:09:21,899 --> 00:09:24,158 They don't teach us to make tea either in B-schools, Chacha. 141 00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:30,591 Why are you working so hard, son? 142 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:34,566 There's a machine installed. Fill up the cups and distribute it. 143 00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:37,112 Chacha, this machine spews muck in the name of tea. 144 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,434 Moreover, it's the only work I have. 145 00:09:40,554 --> 00:09:41,205 I'm going to do it well. 146 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:43,143 You.. try this. 147 00:09:45,564 --> 00:09:46,218 Sip carefully, it's hot. 148 00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:52,778 Fantastic! 149 00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:54,34 That's how I am. 150 00:09:55,659 --> 00:09:57,670 Once I'm on it, I don't quit. 151 00:09:57,941 --> 00:09:59,991 And if I quit, I never get back. 152 00:10:02,79 --> 00:10:04,618 May victory be yours! 153 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,699 Excuse me, your tea. 154 00:10:57,236 --> 00:10:58,459 No, thank you. 155 00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:01,531 It's not from the machine. 156 00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:09,201 Mili. 157 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:14,538 Mili.. 158 00:11:15,271 --> 00:11:16,125 Spandan. 159 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,428 Nice to meet you.. you're welcome. - Thank you. 160 00:11:23,4 --> 00:11:24,183 Candy Crush! 161 00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:46,987 What the f**k is wrong with you! 162 00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:49,720 Who the hell hired this guy? - I'm so sorry, sir. I will.. 163 00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:51,350 Let it be. Bloody idiot! 164 00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:18,638 Prerana, provocative pictures are against the law. 165 00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:20,785 You don't wanna mess with the law in this country. 166 00:12:20,905 --> 00:12:22,682 But that's for women, right? 167 00:12:22,43 --> 00:12:24,360 We can't objectify women, I know that. 168 00:12:25,563 --> 00:12:26,489 But that law is not on men. 169 00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,717 We can actually have fit men on the campaign. 170 00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:35,552 And having men on packaging of condoms is a cliche because 171 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,72 everybody has done it. You cannot use that design. 172 00:12:37,192 --> 00:12:39,687 It's just a condom. 173 00:12:40,474 --> 00:12:43,643 I can't think of anything better. 174 00:12:45,66 --> 00:12:46,188 Let me see. 175 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,699 Can I say something, sir? 176 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:52,651 Yes, tell me. 177 00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:55,990 Sir, we can use both boys and girls. 178 00:12:56,99 --> 00:12:59,864 I mean, if we make the packaging romantic, 179 00:12:59,984 --> 00:13:00,410 instead of making it about sex. 180 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,225 Have you even seen a condom packet ever? 181 00:13:03,345 --> 00:13:05,108 I have manufactured condoms. 182 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:10,547 We have condom factories back home, in Meerut. 183 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,857 I used to work there for pocket money. 184 00:13:12,67 --> 00:13:15,530 Sir, from what I've seen in Mumbai, 185 00:13:15,935 --> 00:13:17,712 the boys and girls, couples, 186 00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:19,368 they go to parks, seaside 187 00:13:20,738 --> 00:13:23,976 or sit on their bikes, parked along the highway. 188 00:13:23,195 --> 00:13:25,310 Sir, we can use such real footage. 189 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,946 And we can provide a QR code on the packaging. 190 00:13:28,66 --> 00:13:31,608 Whenever they scan it with their phones, 191 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,606 it will play a YouTube video. 192 00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,255 This way, you'll have an interactive video, 193 00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:40,787 like sex education. 194 00:13:40,296 --> 00:13:44,622 There's a social message too. So nobody's going to call it illegal. 195 00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:45,316 I'm not too convinced. 196 00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:48,227 Prerna, why don't you give this a shot? 197 00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:50,397 It's a crooked idea, but.. 198 00:13:51,186 --> 00:13:54,370 Why don't you both discuss this and make a presentation? 199 00:13:55,4 --> 00:13:58,538 Maybe by this evening we'll have something! 200 00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:02,54 Thanks for the tea, man. - Thank you, sir. 201 00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,284 So tell me, madam. Where do we start? 202 00:14:08,691 --> 00:14:10,523 Get me another cup of tea. 203 00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:11,456 With less sugar. 204 00:14:13,43 --> 00:14:16,618 Madam, I'll get the tea, but regarding what sir was saying.. 205 00:14:16,738 --> 00:14:17,804 Believe me. 206 00:14:18,544 --> 00:14:21,741 A good cup of tea will make my job easy. 207 00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:25,789 Go on. 208 00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:29,182 Ok, madam. 209 00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:41,838 This one's on the bull's eye. C'mon.. c'mon.. 210 00:14:43,193 --> 00:14:44,282 Not bad. 211 00:14:48,156 --> 00:14:49,367 Tea-boy! 212 00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:14,958 Kalpesh, just check with Siri 213 00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:17,914 what Chukya means. 214 00:15:17,357 --> 00:15:18,161 Sure. 215 00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,139 Siri, what is a Chukya? 216 00:15:24,789 --> 00:15:26,134 `'Chutya' or 'Shutya' is a cuss word 217 00:15:26,254 --> 00:15:30,600 derived from the Hindi word 'Ch*t', which means vagina.. 218 00:15:34,145 --> 00:15:36,917 Vagina! 219 00:15:37,798 --> 00:15:39,845 Quite versatile! 220 00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:44,958 Chukya.. 221 00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:47,892 Do you understand English or should I explain? 222 00:16:00,976 --> 00:16:02,572 There goes Chukya! 223 00:16:02,484 --> 00:16:05,687 This villager won't last two days! 224 00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:08,0 He stopped! 225 00:16:09,857 --> 00:16:10,161 Forgot the tip? 226 00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:12,989 Give it.. hey sonny! 227 00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,627 He's turning.. 228 00:16:23,339 --> 00:16:26,683 Bhaiyaji, can you tell me what a f**king c**t is? 229 00:16:26,40 --> 00:16:28,40 [Shutter Clicks] 230 00:16:39,893 --> 00:16:41,16 You're going to pay for this, Chukya! 231 00:16:41,136 --> 00:16:42,931 F**k! 232 00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:54,20 'Always cut your coat according to your cloth, Spandan.' 233 00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:57,36 'Had you been serious about me, 234 00:16:57,156 --> 00:17:00,23 you wouldn't have even thought of moving to Mumbai.' 235 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,286 'The boy's horoscope looks bad.' 236 00:17:03,406 --> 00:17:06,353 'If he goes to Mumbai, his future's going to be dark.' 237 00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:30,246 I didn't make it, it was the new boy. 238 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:33,991 There he is! 239 00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:35,0 Where were you? 240 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,865 They want the tea you make, not the one from the machine. 241 00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:40,338 You asked for it! 242 00:17:44,24 --> 00:17:46,468 Though I was feeling bad for the tea vending machine. 243 00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,646 But I understood one thing clearly. 244 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,128 You don't get a place here, you make it. 245 00:17:57,319 --> 00:18:01,654 She's the trouble that you haven't encountered yet. 246 00:18:01,61 --> 00:18:04,537 The head of this think-tank, Rati. 247 00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,292 Darts game? Are you crazy? 248 00:18:08,412 --> 00:18:12,891 Don't worry, Spandan. Ganesh has always been a poor finisher. 249 00:18:12,11 --> 00:18:15,631 If you lose, you'll be my intern for a year.